Category: Performing Arts

Before we went home for Christmas, I was granted a wonderful award from the Young Actors Theatre, the “Standing Ovation Award,” for being a positive influence on the youth and adults at YAT. Being granted the ability to work with you has been a great joy for me since I arrived in Tallahassee. The award just makes it even more special. This was a kindness that I really needed at the right moment. Thank you.

Christmas in Michigan – was full of amazing moments that bring me joy to think about. I miss home. I love my family and Michigan friends. They are the kindest people. For those of you I didn’t get to see, I will see you soon. But I had to come back to Tallahassee for a good reason.

Yesterday I had a minor surgery on my knee. I don’t remember much except that everyone was very kind from the time that I arrived until I was put under. When vulnerable, such as laying in a cold pre-op room with nothing but a thin muslin link blanket between you and the multitude of people asking you questions, kindness matters.

Today, I sit with my knee elevated, reading for school, with a Chiweenie as a protector dog, watching my every move. And though Pancho does not know it, the kindness (and concern) he is showing me matters.

I have no idea if the notes I am taking will make any sense tomorrow, but I keep thinking of my mom as I write them. You see, on Christmas, I heard my mom ask my family, “Have you ever seen Elaine’s notes?”… of course, my non-theatrical siblings, who live 1,000 miles away from me in school, said “No.” My mom, though, she has seen them when we go hang out on various Florida beaches on my on spring breaks. She said, “They are works of art.” My mom’s kindness about my notes matters.

I keep thinking about kindness this week. Maybe it’s the forced break or the painkillers, but kindness – a virtue I always try (but don’t always succeed) in sharing myself, matters. As I read about violence and rituals for my comps exam in February, I keep thinking about how kind my professors at FSU are, and how lucky I am to be getting a PhD with this specific group of people who have shown up for me in the smallest and largest ways over the last 5 years. I keep thinking about the friends I have made here, especially those who are making plans with my husband to come over and cook me a meal this week. The kindness. It matters.

So, as we ring in a New Year tomorrow, I will be thinking of all the people who have been so kind to me over the last months. Thank you all.

This morning I woke up to quiet. I made a pot of coffee and let the dogs out. I stood on the deck watching the dogs run around the yard while wondering how my family back home is doing, My thoughts were disrupted by Yoda, who wanted to go back inside while Pancho rolls around in the grass, tail wagging, asking for more time outside, which he gets (of course).

I have things I might do today, but no deadlines looming. My phone is not buzzing with people needing things from me. No major fires are awaiting me to be settled. My biggest concern is if I should put strawberries or pineapple in my smoothie.

Today, I will grade some assignments for my summer class and read a book from my comps list. I need to make sure all of our plans for our trip home for my daughter’s wedding shower are set. I might read the play I am directing again today, I read it a lot. I read a lot, but I always have read a lot, so this is good.

I remember telling people at The Berman that one day I would move to the beach and sell chachkies from a Tiki hut. Getting a Ph.D. is definitely not that, but this morning, standing on the deck in Tallahassee while I wait for Pancho to finish rolling in the grass, I have that feeling of peace I was searching for.

As Pancho came up the stairs to the deck wanting to go inside and get his breakfast treat, the moment fades, but the peace remains. This is not a bad way to start a day.

So far, two of my friends have completed their Ph.D.s this school year. They have inspired me to stretch myself as an artist, student, and person. I am so grateful that I began at Flordia State University in 2019 because I had the opportunity to get to know the graduate students in my program before we shut down due to the pandemic. During the shutdown, walks around Lake Ella, sitting far apart outside and laughing, playing games online, all hour texting, comparing weird middle-of-the-night Etsy purchases, and having happy hour on Zoom were a few ways I continued to feel connected to the people in my program.

I am often asked what it was like to get a master’s degree during the pandemic. Well, because of my wonderful group of grad friends, it was easier than one would expect. The night before my thesis defense (from my apartment, on Zoom), I walked through my entire presentation with one of my friends, who gave me her thoughts, many of which helped me shorten and reshape my presentation. When another began writing his dissertation, I was delighted to discuss it with him. I began looking forward to muddling over a thought or two when he asked me about an idea. There are countless moments with all of my graduate school friends that have both held me up and shown me the way throughout my time at Florida State University. I am grateful for them and am excited to see what they do next!

So, I am updating my website. Doing this requires that I go through my CV and other assorted information to make sure that I have all of the shows that I want to highlight on the website. Then, I get to search for a bunch of pictures to put together my galleries of images. This is my favorite part because I get to find pictures like this one.

These kids are all twice this size now. I am Aunt Elaine to all of them. Two of them drive, maybe three, one of them is writing her own books and stories, one is getting ready to graduate from high school, and all of them still have my heart. I love these kids!!! I am so glad I need to update my website, because it comes with beautiful memoires.

Soon I will be able to see them again, and I will hug them. A lot.