Over the summer, I have been working on the house, working, writing, and job hunting…I have also been packing. I started packing before I graduated because we were doing some work in my office and the guest room. So, I packed all of my non-research books into bankers boxes with the full intention to put them back on the bookshelves once the remodeling was done.
I was still working on my dissertation, between the house remodeling (due to a burst pipe in the wall) and other obligations, I decided not to search for a job because I had my hands full. So, when I graduated, we didn’t know what the world had in store for us. Luckily, we have a beautiful home here in Tallahassee. We love our life. Denny loves his job. I can write in this house then float in our pool. This is a good home. And we could stay for another year. I even had a wonderful job offer for work at a theatre in town. We could be happy here for another year.
The thing is…once we were done remodeling the rooms, neither Denny or I unpacked.
We just kept packing.
It was strange though. Once the two rooms were done, we kept working on the house. We would take down our artwork and not put it back up. We packed up winter clothes in boxes instead of space bags. We packed all of our office clothing, seeing at neither of us needed it. We packed long sleeved clothing, sweaters, hoodies.
Still, we didn’t know what was next.
We just kept packing.
I would have an interview, some via Zoom others via a flight to some potential future place. I didn’t find what I was looking for at the beginning of the summer. And, I would come home and feel frustrated because I didn’t know if I would find the right job. And, I didn’t know what that job was.
But, we just kept packing.
My summer job ended, and I was completely unemployed. I spent my days working on the house, yard, and doing some online side jobs.
And, every morning, I would wake up a pack a box.
I didn’t know if we were actually leaving Tallahasse.
I packed a box a day anyway.
Then, the day came, when I had to make a decision about working for the theatre here. I did not want to answer the question. Was I staying in Tallahassee? I did not actually know. If I turned down the work, all of my links to theatre work in town would be officially severed. Was I ready? That was a hard email. I have come to really love teaching, and this was the only teaching I had. Could I give it up?
Then I found myself packing a box. I realized my body had been talking to my mind for a long time, but my mind wasn’t listening. My body had been packing since before I even knew I was done at Florida State University. I was ready to leave.
So, I turned down the work in Tallahassee. They are my dear, dear friends, they understood. But when I walked away, I wasn’t sure what I would do. Of course, Denny supported me and kept pushing me to keep applying, be picky, make sure I take a job that will make me happy. Allow myself to find a place that felt right for me.
My problem was that I didn’t know what ‘right for me’ felt like. I had just been through seven years of graduate school, which required a seven year break from arts administration. I had walked away from my dream job at The Berman to do it. My dream job would combine my old life and new life into something else. But, what waws that? Then, Arts Bonita called to offer me a job as the Education Director. I heard myself say yes.
So, we are moving to Fort Myers, Florida. I will be working in Bonita Springs. Tomorrow the U-haul pod things get delivered to my driveway so we can move to Fort Myers, another six hours south. I have already begun working with the exceptional artists at Arts Bonita, and I’m ready to wrap up this chapter of our life.
So, guess what I did today? You got it. I packed boxes.
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