When I was in graduate school, I received feedback to “stare off into the middle distance more.”
I spent a summer trying to stare. I really tried.
But, my brain would take over and I would find myself doing something…anything. I would read, research, apply for funding, create a new something, but sit still? That’s not natural for me. I felt like there was too much for me to think about, to much to do, to much to experience to let myself sit still for even 30 minutes a day.
But, of course…when something pushes on the boundaries of our comfort zones…it’s worth exploring. So I didn’t give up. How does one stare off into the middle distance? With the world of electronics, with a house and family to care for, and of course – graduate school, how would I find the time to muse?
Then I got into the pool on my Big Joe floaty and started to relax. I mused about home.
When we moved to Florida, we sold our boat. We loved our boat, it was our “floating living room,” a beautiful pontoon boat where we spent as many days as possible from May – October. I even read the books on the suggested reading list for graduate school on that boat. We barbecued, swam, hosted family & friends, and loved our life on Cass Lake.
But, moving to Florida, I wasn’t going to be able to have boat-life and graduate school. So, we decided we would have a pool. It would give us the water we love when we couldn’t be near the ocean, we could at least float. It’s not the same, but it was a good decision.
Once I got in the pool, I remembered that I already had stared off into the middle distance on the boat. Denny would drive us around the lake at full power (a 22 minute journey). I loved it. The the wind would whip through my hair, and the homes around the lake were beautiful to see. But, mostly, I was just alone with me due to the noise of the engine and wind.
Some days, I would tie a floaty to the boat and lay in the lake with my hands skimming the water. These moments…I mused. So, when I got in the pool on my “Big Joe” floaty, I relaxed. With no access to technology, and no immediate demand, I was able to lay back, let my hand skim the water, and stare off into the middle distance. Or as I call it…muse.
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