Yesterday, we lost one of our dogs, Yoda. She was special to us in all of the best ways. She was definitely my husband’s dog, following him around from dawn till dusk. At night, she slept on the floor next to his bed, even before we put a dog bed there for her. Where he went, she went. When he’d leave for work, she would rub her face into his pillows, often sleeping on them until I got out of bed. Today, my husband is working, poor man…his heart broke all over again when he got out of bed to silence as no Yoda feet tapped behind him out the bedroom door.
Many nights she would wake me up at 3:00 am to run around with her, hopping all over the place with a huge grin on her face, just happy to be awake in the middle of the night, like it was our secret play time.
When we moved across town and country, she was there. She’s been a camping dog, a boat dog, a road trip dog, an apartment dog, a house dog, a beach dog, and an all around adventure dog. She has her own seat belt in my car, because when we could bring her with us, we would. When you open the door to my car, she would put her front paws up so you could lift her more easily (something Sunday taught her and she taught Pancho).
When my dog, Sunday, got sick, Yoda sat with a paw on Sunday’s paw, holding her in a way only dogs can do for each other. I knew it was so Sunday, and I knew her little sister was there for her. Then, earlier this week, Pancho reached for Yoda, ending up in the sweetest puppy spooning moment I have ever seen. I know it was so Yoda knew her little brother was there for her. Watching them, I found the (almost right) words for the love my dogs share – pure love. There are no strings or rules or grudges or any inately human rules when dogs love you, there is just trust, forgiveness, and love. It’s a gift that is always present, even now.
Today, my house is quiet as I’m trying very hard to write my dissertation and failing miserably. Pancho hasn’t left my lap; he’s sad but better than yesterday while we waited for our vet appointment. It hurts. But, the pure love that Yoda gave us is the reason losing her is so hard.
Having her is worth losing her.
I’d do it again, especially for our little Yoda Smith.